


Simple You

by sadisticpixiazique



Category: One Punch Man
Genre: Chapters?, F/M, Homework sucks, Past, Past Relationship(s), Weird Plot Shit, drabbles?, ficlets?, idfk, school AU or something, school shit, uhhh, wtf is this idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-17 07:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11846532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadisticpixiazique/pseuds/sadisticpixiazique
Summary: You stare. He stares ahead. The people behind you strikes for a punch, and he pushes you off the way just in time.And that was the moment. You Fucking. Fell. For. That. Dorky. Hero.





	1. Wut.

**Author's Note:**

> yeeeEEEEEhhhHHH wtf is this shiz oh yeah, this just weird so if u don't like don't read btw, let's say u guys are in high school and just seriously. theres no freaking plot.
> 
> warning though, there are a lot of curses and some violent weird shiz cuz reader...u r 1 badass emo kid.
> 
> anyway, hope u like some hero cuteness~ *maybe Genos will be here dunno~*
> 
> ANd if u like, puh-leez give feedback? I'm not forcing u too, but if you want, I'd love some!! ^_^ 
> 
> anyway onto tHE STORYYYY

Everything was normal. You were sitting on your chair, reading a book and maybe, _maybe,_ using these as your inspiration for your comic books or just novels. All the other students does not give a shit about you, City Z is probably going to be infested with some monsters here and there, bullies are picking on a kid who is fortunately or unfortunately? not you at the back of the classroom, so, yeah. Life is good. ~~~~Until the teacher comes along. You peek behind your book and took a look. And you know that fucking rhymed so give yourself a pat on the back before continuing reading.

The teacher came in with a student! This was new...and you haven't even seen him yet anywhere...hmm...maybe you're going to have to do some research about this newbie...

> "Alright, alright, settle down right now!"

Your classmates miraculously listened to the demon teacher in front and sat down on their respective chairs. You started to shiver.

> _Shit, shit, shit...my side is empty! Shit shit shit shit fuuuuuuucccckkkkkkk....I wasn't ready, shite!_

Well, it wasn't exactly bad if you had a seatmate; you'd have a dude to copy on during exams even though you normally do that once a month only and maybe even have a boyfriend! Okay, that was way too far. Let's go nearer. How about a companion? Or better yet, a friend? Yes, yes...this is going to be good! Then...maybe, just maybe...

A smile twitched on your lips.  You pressed the book on your forehead and started to squeal silently. Yes, yes! How about starting the plot now? Wait! You should go over your techniques first. Should you be the nerd? Try to act smart to get his attention? Nah, you can't even get a C in Math. Your mood fell down with that fact. If maybe you become that quiet emo kid? Will that get his attention too? You doubt it, so you crossed that out your list. Hmm. How about the extrovert gal that always shops? You know, with the make-up shit and all? Nah, that ain't your style. Besides, heels are hellish as fuck.

HOw the fuck are you going to play this out? Or maybe you're just overthinking things? You let out a loud groan before slamming your book to your forehead repeatedly.

> _How must my life go?! Romcom?! Action?! Angst?! OR JUST PLAIN COMEDY?! 'CUZ I'D LIKE THAT ON----_

Out of nowhere, someone karate chops your head and immediately you yelp from the impact.

> "Mother of fu--SENSEI!"

The demonic glasses of hers were glinting dangerously as she looked at you with such disdain. You stood up reflexively and bowed to a unperfect 90 degrees angle.

> "Sensei! I apologize for my rude behavior! If you were to give me one last chance in living my life I shall try my best not to anger you no more! Much to my chagrin, I shall take any consequences that are just to my level of my punishment!"

You dramatically fell on your knees and had your  face planted on the floor. You really squished your  face against the  wooden boards so your voice was a little muffled. "Shall I take you to dinner? I may not be your standards but I can---"

The ass of a teacher karate chops you again, but this time a little bit more gentler. "Geez, you really go to play mode everytime we do this..."

Everyone gasped as their minds started to think of various thoughts that must not be thought.

You stood up, brushing your skirt. "Oi, get your minds out of the gutter. We're not doing any incest shit."

Your teacher/older sister smiled, and proceeded on pinching your ear and dragging you to the front.

 


	2. Cake.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter dunno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter

Did you know how angry you are now? Do you? Do you?!

NO.

Did you know why you were that angry? Do you? Do you?!

Of course, you don’t! Author-chan is stupid af ‘cause she didn’t tell you yet and now she’s already asking you how and why! You may now kill author-chan, but the next chapter shall never see the light of day if you did.

But that’s not exactly important right now. Author-chan? Sheesh. Let’s just focus on the story. Or more precisely, your precious cake. Your beautiful, oh-so precious cake. Your child, the cake, has been stolen. And now, you are investigating who may be the culprit.

Cue the dramatic music! *mission impossible theme*

You lower your shades on your nose as you scanned the whole cafeteria. You pull out your notebook and started to write down the people who bought and was eating the cakes.

1.Female Markiplier

2.Joker and Jeff the Killer combined

3.Eyeliner freak

4.The only mean girl who is eating a cake

5.Blond kid (A/N: FUFUFUFUFU)

That was your list for now, considering that you weren’t exactly a real field agent. But if you were, that’d be so cool. But never mind that! You may never reach that dream, or any other dream as a matter of fact, but you WILL solve the case and find that cake-stealing person! He/she must be suicidal…Even though you never claimed that the very last cake to be sold in the cafeteria is to be yours, let’s just say you said that for the sake of paragraphs and speeches. Shut up.

Very well, it is time for interrogation!

A/N: short AF sorry


	3. Chapter 3

 

“Are you sure you don’t remember? It’s like, two minutes since the last cake was sold.”

 

You don’t understand people sometimes.You like, take only a few seconds from their life and they’re acting like it’s their last day on earth.

 

“Goddamit kid leave me the fuck alone! It’s just a cake!”

 

“Just a cake?”

 

Ohhhhhhhhhh he hit the button.

 

“Yeah, so just forget about it and move on. There’s some other bread over there.”

 

You’re not about to kill someone. No, no, you wont. What? You will? Yeah, sure. Say you did kill that dude. Then what? There are a lot of witnesses. Where are you going to drag the body? What are you going to do about it? Where’s the mop for cleaning the blood? The school doesn’t have a turtle you can pray on, okay? There’s no reset button too. And jeez, you should like…play Yande---

 

“Get outta here!”

 

A large bag of muscles pushed you away from the kitchen to the tables. You landed on your ass, who saved you from breaking your spine.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Standing up, you were left with only one choice. Interrogate dem suspects.

 

Since you were really just looking for fun, you went and sat across the first person on your list.

“Hi. Were you the one who bought the last cake? If you did, will you follow me? I wanna show you something really cool!” **** ~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters!!!!!   
> wtf is wrong with me I should be studying for exams but


	4. Accident.

You were getting hopeless. And bored. And really fucking hungry. That was the third one.

You were so down and hungry that you didn’t mean to bump to that mean girl who was the only one eating a cake. Well, I guess you’re not getting the chance to ask about your child then.

“Hey!” she screamed until you thought you guys suddenly were suddenly in a horror movie and a ghost was behind you. “Watch where you’re going bitch!”

This bitch just called you bitch? Boi she better stand down or else.

“Jeez mehn it was a fucking accident.” Slowly you backed away, frightened that she might turn into a fire breathing dragon. YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR ARMOR ON. “Calm the fuck down.”

There were tears in her eyes and almost about to look like BEN Drowned if you put on Tokyo ghoul eyes and cut off her hair. It was a horrible sight. “Calm down?! You have the nerve to tell me that! And curse at me too!”

whAT A FUCKING HYPOCRITE.

“Look at my designer bag! It was almost stained with my cake! I promised my boyfriend that I’ll take care of this for him because it’s his gift to me!”

Well, you guess she has good reason to be angry.Besides, gifts are very precious. Like your child, the cake. Lots of people were starting to murmur, so you better end this quick before the newspapers come out with inappropriate headlines about the two of you.

“Okay, it was my fault. I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Can we just forget about this and move on?”

For some reason, you wanted to thank the guy from the kitchen and spare his life.

You raised your hands and turned around, placing them on your head as if she was the police and you are the criminal which was ironic because she could be the suspect in your supposed investigation. Walking steadily, you hoped she’s not the type to hit people while their backs are turned. You know, like a back-stabber, only literally.

“NO WAY!”

With that said, you widened your eyes and tried to twist your body and dodge the attack. You guessed which weapon she will use.

A sword? No, that’s too mythical and impossible, because you didn’t see any long sticks sticking out from her green sweater and her bag was too small you couldn’t even fit a ring in there. Maybe a knife? No, girls like her don’t carry that stuff around, or maybe youre judging a book by its cover? Eh, you guess that’s a possibility. But what if she used her lipstick? You shivered. The red stick on a metal haunted you, with its slippery texture rubbing against your skin roughly… And in 0.25 seconds, you finished thinking and actually went back to reality, landing on your…?

Huh? It’s…HARD.

You thought your fucking spine broke in half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who got triggered when they went to comic alley just to see all those OPM merchandise an realized they cant buy them


	5. Discipline...?

You opened your eyes dramatically so that the moment will last, your shining knight in armor, or was it knight in shining armor? Whatever, your shining knight in armor with arms of hard fucking steel which almost fucking or really did broke your spine looked down at you and was met with your…chest.

Eyes widening, you realized it wasn’t the new student and it wasn’t even going as your cliché plan and it wasn’t even a guy. It was aneight-year old kid. A MOTHERFUCKING KID. A MOTHERFUCKING KID SAVED YOU FROM FALLING ON YOUR ASS. Should you be ashamed?

Well, I think both of you should. He’s looking at your motherfucking chest! Whether it may be flat or just erect mountains (sorry author-chan‘s a perv[IS FEMALE I SWEAR]) this was still sexual harassment! Yeah, he’s a kid but…! SOMEONE’S GOTTA TEACH HIM SOME MANNERS!

“Hey, kid. My eyes are up here.”

The boy looked up and dropped you to the ground. You took the time to stand up and actually examine him.

Blonde hair, cute eyes *you didn’t want to know what color it is cuz you just don’t really care* wearing a loose white t-shit and tight black jeans. Whoa, this kid’s much more fashionable than you. SHAME ON YOU 2X.

“You shouldn’t punch anyone! That’s bullying!”

The blonde kid yelled at the blonde girl. Should you kill yourself now?

“You don’t have any right to say that to me kid! I’m way older than you!”

She does have a point. Or not? Oh my god the girl attempted to attack you and this is what you’re thinking? SHAME ON YOU 3X.

“My mom says that age doesn’t matter as long as you know what discipline is! And you don’t have any of that at all!”

Oooh burn.

Wait. You’re seriously just standing on the sidelines. You should do something to break this up. After all, it was your fault anyway. Before Ms. Cake-holding boyfriend-given designer bag freak can launch another attack to you or the kid. You didn’t even…?! SHAME ON YOU 4X.

“You little shi--!”

Blondie girl wanted to punch the boy and he was getting ready to receive it, but before you could even get in the way and die and have story told to generations and generations, another student pulled the kid away and that resulted on the girl face-planting on the ground.

“S-sensei!”

Sensei?

You looked at the student and the kid who just said that a second ago. The boy was looking up at him with shocked eyes and the guy was looking at…you.

His crazy black hair was enough to catch your attention but you focused on the most motherfucking derpy look on his face.

You were as just surprised as he was that you both said in unison,

“It’s you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope. Just nope.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS SUCKS IT CAME OUT FREAKING WORST THAT I THOUGHT IF NO ONE LIKED THE INTRO OF THE READER IMMA DELETE THIS SHIZ AND BURN MYSELF OR MAYBE GET KILLED BY SOME YANDERE DUDES FOR STEALING DEM GUYZ AND GALZ
> 
> no seriously is it bad? next chappie will be more longer I promise. *yeh right* if u liked it then thanks if u don't then I cri T_______T ILL TRY BETTER
> 
>  
> 
> if someone would freaking read it....


End file.
